Chapter Forty-Three → We'd never know what's wrong without the pain, sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

Audra wasn't really sure how she felt about the infants, sure, she knew she was suppose to love them. But the question wasn't what she knew was expected, but if she would do as expected. The girl spent a lot of the infanta first week home just staring at them, her parents and even younger siblings at time, stepping in to care for the babies. That was until she was left alone with them one day, her own children, probably the only children she'd ever have.... scratch that, she knew they were the only children she'd ever have. They were so little, it'd be so easy to just... but she couldn't do that, the mere thought made her want to vomit.

When Tommy started to cry, the girl stepped forward and gingerly lifted the child from his crib. He was hungry, if anything her mother said about 'hungry cries' was right. Audra guessed she had to feed him, it's not like she wanted him to starve right?

Huh, maybe they weren't so bad, ya know, for babies.

Although both Tamara and Jarvis thought the step Audra had taken with the infants, just by holding them was huge, they still willingly took up the slack when the girl withdrew once again.

(No i didn't forget to put the roof up, the ceiling really is blue.)

Jarvis was just happy to have children in the house again, given that their teens were all nearly adults. He always had wanted a big family and an even larger extended family, both of which had come true.

Soon enough it was the evening of birthdays, the infant twins birthday falling on the same day as both Jarvis and Tamara's. It was insanity, to say the very least.

First up was Tommy, who will eat your soul if you're not careful.

Then Tamara, standing in the middle of the table, nice one.

Trista says: Cheese!!

And old Jarvis refuses to face the camera until he gets a piece of cake dammit!

The twins aging up into toddlers brought with it many new changes, they were spread out about the house more, their books and toys scattered everywhere.

Although with on call grandparents running hot and cold all hours of the day and night, they were never for want.

Occasionally, even their aunt or uncle would take time from their end of term papers to spend a moment with them.

But the biggest change of all was their want, need, very desperate pleas for attention from their mother. Audra wasn't entirely sure how she felt about it, she also wasn't sure why when she looked at them she felt like she was staring into a cool darkness. What was wrong with them? What was wrong with her?

The next morning was Audra's birthday, and she awoke feeling like she would suddenly have all the answers now that she was officially an adult....

She didn't, she was so depressed she actually ate the fricking cake!

And she still didn't feel any less unsure about her children, if she could even call them that. Where they her's? Or would they always be his? Whoever he may be, would she every remember what happened before waking up that morning? Would she every stop asking the same inane questions to herself over and over again!? Probably not.

"What's wrong with them?" Audra asked her mother one evening as she stood in the doorway to the nursery, watching her glowing eyed son play violently with a doll. Their eyes always shone at night, like a cats.

"I think they're vampires." Tamara said, voicing the concern that she had been harboring for a while.

"What?"

"You don't remember your grandfather, but he was at the top of his field, whatever it happened to be, it was all very hush hush. But i heard him and grandma speaking about a cure that he and his colleagues were working on, they needed mum to smuggle out a vial of vampire's blood from the hospital." Tamara explained as they watched the little boy bite at his various dolls.

"Could that also be why i don't remember? Still?" Audra asked.

"Yeah." Tamara nodded. "Rophynol's good, it'll wipe out a good thirty-six hours from your memory but not as completely as yours is. You're blank, and from what i've heard being in journalism for over fifty years, vampires, they can control minds, force memories onto you, read your thoughts. Of course those are only the really old and very powerful ones, but street vamps, with all the drugs they have now a days, it's no surprise they could figure out a way to steroid it up."

"I guess it's true then." Audra said softly, more to herself than to her mother.

"What?"

"They really aren't mine." She gave a sad shake of her head before hurrying off, she didn't know why, but for some reason that hurt more than she wanted to let on.

With Audra once again hiding from everything in the hole of a life she had dug so very deep for herself, the care of the toddlers fell upon the other's in the house. 

Slowly yet surely between school, work and painting the children learned to walk, talk and use the potty.

All without one hint of notice from Audra.

One thing she did take notice in however, was the old beat up martial arts dummy that had been in the family for generations. Seemed the girl had found a new hobby, one that was both healthy and worrying.

Chapter Notes:

Whee! A longer chapter! Audra's last trait is Commitment Issues, which was kind of a no brainer lol. She aged up stunning, i'm glad, gives me hope for her adorable children. Just wait until you see them as kids, omg, so cute! Also, don't ask me why i know so much about GHB, i don't watch tv so i can't blame that and i lost all my medical books when i was 16, yes i was a 16 year old who read medical textbooks for fun lol. I blame my mother, she (while insane) was an in home nurse that cared for anywhere from 6 to 10 special needs kids when i was growing up, so she's a fountain of medical knowledge to me lol.

Audra's not going for worse mother of the year, i swear, she will warm up eventually, she's just confused. Her hobby is karate, which i thought fitting for a past victim. She's already finished getting to level 5 in the music career, will talk about that in the next chapter. It was all the guitar playing as a teen, i swear lol. Also, i re-rolled for one of her careers, the Mafia one, since what i had planed for her just really doesn't fit the character any more and i don't see some scared chick just hanging with Fat Tony for no reason than besides she's got nice legs. And well, we already know that if anyone tries the 'nice legs' move, they will get kicked in the head. So i rolled author, which she will do for a week, which is good because her LTW involves mastering the writing skill.

Also, to anyone who wanted to see what Darryl, the kids father looked like, this is him as a teen, when he did the deed, sort to speak. I will post a picture of him as an adult when i get one, btw, that picture is from a 'deleted scene' of sorts that never made it into the story.

Age up blooper!

Talk about some massive pajama fail, hello! Her father and brother were in the room!